Contentment leads to calm!

One of the most common pictures those who have dogs that have Reactive behaviour aspire to achieving is ‘calm’, and I would say that this is a word that is more commonly used in modern dog training without true understanding of what it is and what it actually looks like.

But to truly understand what calmness is, ask yourself this question. Put dogs aside for a second, and ask yourself the question….Do you know anyone that is ‘calm’?

Really think about that before answering.

I can hear you giving examples of people you know, or seen, or aspire to be, that encapsulate ‘calmness’, but are they truly ‘calm’? Perhaps a person at your work, or a friend who no matter what is cool, calm and collected…. Or someone that you have engaged with in your travels or daily life, maybe a health practitioner, or someone in law enforcement, or a Fireperson?

Imagine someone like Serena Williams, or Novak Djokovic…. In the heat of the moment, they appear totally calm and in control…

As an elite level dog sports competitor, I am often asked how I appear so ‘calm’… or how ‘I make it look so easy’…

But are ANY of us ACTUALLY calm? Are we so chilled out that we are totally relaxed and almost laid back?? NOT AT ALL!!!!

In fact, the internal picture is the polar opposite.

We are focused, we are controlling out emotions and channeling our energy into a task, a goal, a direction…

Now imagine, if you could REALLY get into inside the minds of those individuals… However, externally, we appeared totally CALM.

And in mastering the ‘noises’ in our head, a calmness and feeling of control comes over us.

Does any of this resonate with you??

Let’s take this back to our dogs. Dogs were originally bred to be tools, their natural instincts were manipulated, exploited and exaggerated so we could use them to assist us in our daily lives. To help us hunt, gather, capture and…. Well you know the rest… And I expect if you attended a farm where sheepdogs were used, or a kennel where gun dogs were kept, or a home were working terriers were used… you would find a lot of ‘calm’ dogs…. Dogs just mooching around, minding their own business, given the definition of what we would truly say was ‘calmness’.

But when we analyse if these dogs are truly CALM, we will probability find that they are content.

They are content because their physical, emotional, genetic and most innate needs have been met fulfilling a purpose. So as a result of this thirst being quenched, they are actually ‘CALM’.

However, often calmness is an aspiration many are advised to ‘teach’ or ‘create’ through feeding treats from a snuffle mat, or a soothing tone of voice, or any range of techniques seen commonly in Behaviour modification protocols, without acknowledgement that the dog isn’t actually ‘content’.

So does this mean, Border Collies owners need to purchase a flock of sheep? Or a Golden return owner needs to buy a gun and Barbour jacket, even though they live in the middle of a built up city? Or your Westie owner needs to have a stock of rodents on standby for their pesky pooch to dispatch?

About not. But we need to understand that our dogs have needs, and desires we, if we want a truly ‘CALM’ dog, we need to satisfy on a regular basis.

This means thinking outside of the box in some circumstances. How you can satisfy what that need is, in an alternative manner.

So the dog that loves to stare and chase, becomes the thing they want to stare at and chase…. The dog that wants to capture and destroy, become the instigator of this in a safe manner via the medium of play, or the dog that wants to possess and guard, use this as a way to create focus and attention in environments where they may rehearse this inappropriately.

Imagine taking a Serena, or Novak and saying to them, they could no longer have an outlet for that mind that made them multiple Grand Slam champions, and instead they had to remain in their homes, watch tennis on TV, but not actually play it… They weren’t given an alternative physical outlet, had to learn to ignore the sight, sound or even though of Tennis…. And WHEN they did go to any tennis clubs or matches, they had to remain totally ‘CALM’ and ignore it!

NOW, how do we think that would work out???

I think we may be reading a lot of headlines of former Grand Slam champions doing some weird and wonderful things!

We are all given ‘gifts’, as are our dogs are no different. Our role is to allow them to be who they are, and shine. Allow for their personalities and needs, yet harness them to enhance our relationship with them as opposed to making them a point of conflict.

Aspire for contentment rather then calm, because contentment leads to CALM!